Where did the love you have for life come from?

Today, I was texting with a woman from West Virgina about her horse. We have come to know that somewhere we are related. It made me miss my grandmothers. I felt that I was close, akin to them, and was blessed with great grandmothers as a child. They were all beautiful women, some tender and strong or stern nevertheless, kind and loving. I miss having grandmas as I watch my own Mother with her grandchildren… it’s comfort and love.

Older people, dogs and horses have always had my attention for I feel there is an incredible amount of wisdom in living life… and as long as I am still living, I want to listen to those that have lived before me so they can be heard. Don’t we all love a good, interesting story? Where did our love for anything in our life begin? I detest pickled herring unlike my mother but love the animals (we) I have always had. This love came from my mom’s father. Horses in particular. Though allergic to them my grandpa always had more than a few riding horses at the farm in West Virginia where my parents grew up. The hollars, the hills, the stream and the creek, the Sulphur water Kool-Aid, the food… but more so, the horses. They were an important part of my family’s life and to this day I love them.

A life, no matter the length, shall it be filled with as much as it can hold for the day. It’s important…

Ecclesiastes 9: 7-10

What do you mean Medicine Horse?

I get asked that plenty of times and I find myself trailing off into a different direction often trying to explain. All I can cite is what I witness happening here at VHF having known a few Nokota® horses over the years. The horses that have found their way and stayed here at Valhalla are healthy, willing and harmoniously impart their calm energy, wisdom and support to those that come to understand… It is about trust, this medicine, in our bodies, instincts, intuitions, relationships and more so, trust in ourselves to live a life of safety, joyful play and contentment. As one famous horse trainer (Pat Parelli) teaches about the needs of the horse…It is about safety, comfort and play, in that order.

Shamans from around the world believe that the horse can travel the path and reach the Great Spirit. The medicine here teaches us that nothing in life may match the strength we have within us to meet challenges head on. That is the strength of the war horses that have known us humans since when… they have carried us to war and victory, across lands and country; they have helped build great structures and also carried us to and from home and heart. The horse represents nobility, courage, triumph, freedom, endurance. So, where’s the medicine?

The heart of the horse is approximately 10 times larger than the human heart. This means that their heart generates a significantly larger electromagnetic field. Both horse and human emits energy from their heart which is measurable and plays an important role in their behaviors. (we’ll get into to more of this later)

As we connect with the horse develop, they have the abilities to have an impact on your heart rate, blood pressure, breathing and read your thoughts before they hit your tongue, your energy and emotions. They want to keep, if not create this “calm” that they feel because they know they are safe. It is important for them to have you try and feel the same.

Good medicine is wisdom, trusting in the natural evolution of things. Our bodies, minds, spirit, souls are all unique, designed and created for health, efficiency and healing of thineself. We get caught in a conundrum or patterns that make us sick. They change our vibration, frequency, our energy. Horses respond to this because it is not healthy…for them to be around. It is about their safety too.

So again, where is the medicine in that?

How about we set ourselves inside a fence instead of a wall…

I’m always examining my comfort zone. Where can I position myself and feel safe with the horses and people around me? To build a wall around yourself is so isolating and can get lonely. You can’t see what’s going on outside of those walls which may feel safe but is not how God intended us to live. He gave us eyes to see, ears to hear, a brain to think, a body to be efficient, a heart to feel and asks us to live in community with one another… how can that happen behind walls? As long as I have had to navigate small spaces with the horses in my care, I have created, changed, ripped out and rearranged spaces in my pastures to create different and safer spaces for the horses. The gates that have been installed, for the most part, have been methodically thought out down to which way they swing. I can walk from one space to another, opening gates or through the fence. Being able to see where I am going and securing the space behind me allows me to navigate my surroundings. I’m not stuck behind those walls… I can walk in or out of the fence and see what is going on. So why do we isolate and throw up walls around ourselves?

Let’s put a horse behind walls with no light or sight of other horses and they only see people when it’s time to go into the arena and ride or when they are being fed… they are only let out of their stall to go outside while it is being cleaned then, back in to the 3 or 4 walls. How is it then when that horse has to respond to the stimulus outside his routine? It is because he is tolerant, and his sense of self-preservation far compares to what he must handle outside his stall.

Could this not be related to people who shut down and resolve because of the inability to communicate or become addicts who isolate? What truly is your comfort zone and is it comfortable?

It took me a while to get my horses to feel comfortable in a stall that is usually a 12x12 space. The stalls here are only for feeding separately 3 times a year or doctoring. If the weather is inclement, I might open up a stall or 2 which I will often find all 5 horses in one stall. I have heard that there is safety in numbers. (I have to go so I will write more later…hold that thought for me.)

Does this sound funny? Let’s look at invisible boundaries. Huh? example: I’m going to talk about my spiritual boundaries for a few sentences… I may not be able to visually see that for which I am shielding but I feel it, enough to be trepidatious. Those spiritual attacks are sneaky and fill with such lies. Have you ever watched a horse that you thought came out of nowhere and behaved in a way that brought your heart rate up? Then there may have been a bit of either fear or respect that came over you, looking at the horse or horses… first of all that is communication between the horses, and you probably missed what transpired prior to your noticing. Not to be insulting but there will always be a rythm or reason for their behavior… just watch their body language. Horses are always setting and pushing a bubble so to speak.

Humor me. Draw an imaginary line in a circle around yourself as big as you feel comfortable. (Use your forefinger as a pointer if need be.) . Take note, then put both arms straight out from your sides parallel with your shoulders. Now, make a circle around you a few times …that’s your personal space. The area beyond your space up to your imaginary line is your comfort zone. Learn to play there and explore what is beyond that… You can always pop back into your zone or space. Here is an opportunity to see what is going on around you, trusting your instincts, not having to engage should you deem fit or not and you have the choice to bring it or leave it with little effort. Walls are for war. Boundaries define us…they distinguish me from not me and you to you and so on…a place where you end and someone else begins. I think it could be called, owning your space? Yes… for the sake of others (and the horse) and ourselves.

Breathe in the good…and out with the bad… Bad could be a plethora of things from thoughts, emotions, feelings…blow it out…and get out from whatever is blocking your vision. Love

Living in the herd…

I often use analogies with living in a family as living in a herd. or tribe. There are always complexities within any group that have different personalities…man or animal. It literally has taken me years to finally have a herd that suits me. The horses here are not just a herd of 5 horses, but a complex family that can be harmonious more often than not for if no other reason, but their existence depends on it. Each one has a position or job within the herd. My alpha mare is not the lead mare of the 5. She gets her ears pinned while swishing that tail acting like she’s a badass at the same time moving out of the way of the even more badass, geldings. She hangs by the lead mare most always, with herself blocking something or someone. When alone or with just the lead mare, she is visibly happier and more apt to participate. Less tension as seen in her mouth and jaw.

I have watched the dances, since last spring, between the 3 geldings and the 2 mares. The 2 older geldings pairing with the 2 mares. And that leaves the young Tall Wolf gelding. Exuberant and immature for his age, he was the product of an oops between an older stud and a 2 year old filly. The first 2 years of his life were filled with family and play on a few thousand acres living in a healthy herd until,the herd of 200+ was struck with devastation and the horses were seperated and sold. He was a 4 year old, unhandled stud colt bought by a woman in California living in Oregon. The day he was put into the stocks for the first time he was gelded then immediately loaded on a trailer to make a 1,500 mile trip from North Dakota to Oregon. Arriving with an infected sheath, the owner now had the responsibility of haltering and handling the untouched horse for medical attention. Fast forward to when he arrived here at VHF. I thought it was the skin infection as to why he didn’t want to be brushed, let alone touched. I would see him mouths locked, biting, chasing, playing with one of the other geldings so it must not be that he hurts. It is because the human wasn’t presented in a calm, safe, feel-good way. How could she? Horses are associative thinkers you know…

Finding his place in the herd of other horses and humans here has taken time for him to figure out. It has been within the last few months, with more attention, the gelding is coming up sooner and hanging around longer. Like reprograming the brain and the body to heal from whatever trauma has manifested there… It is not dissimilar to what happens with recognized trauma in our body and brain.

I am grateful for the “living in a herd” lessons afforded to me by a life with horses. If only all of us knew about ourselves what the horse knows about us. Whoa…

I believe that God intended for the equine and canine to be utilized by His people because He loves us. Whether for companionship or service they are a blessing. It was an 18th century author that said, and let me quote…” In the Garden of Eden, the Horse was of no service to man, but the fall of man revealed to the Horse his noble mission”.

Let’s begin here…

Self “talk”. Do you talk within yourself when no one is around out loud? Do you believe that horses can hear our thought? Let’s begin here as all the basis for subjects of conversation start with a thought, right? I have come to see more so after years of living with horses that my expectations of my horses can’t be forced and neither should they be as the horse was created to be a willing partner. Let me ask… what are you coming into this conversation with? Your shit, fear, an agenda, an expectation, a hope, nothing…? Before we even get to talking about intention and energy and such, let’s ask ourselves why we are here and what are we wanting to happen? Let’s not waste the time of everybody should nothing be gained. That is where “getting stuck” happens.

Today my beautiful friend came to visit the Nokota® horse that she is leasing here @VHF. She has been coming here for over a year and has decided it is time for her to have a horse. O.K. so let’s start where? as she wants to start him on her own and not send him off to a reputable trainer. In the time she has been coming to the farm she has had the opportunity to work with and around all 5 horses here. One particular horse she has an infinity for. He is younger than his herd mates and is kind of an odd man out, lone wolf. (Funny because that was his sire’s name.) He pesters and plays hard and moves ever so easily as he glides the uneven terrain in the pastures. He’s also trepidatious, walks away and is guarded yet so much begs for connection. There was about a 4-month period where he was out on trial. The lady trying him out loved his grittiness and movement, his conformation and bone…attractive and strong looking presence. However, her situation changed, and he returned to VHF. His immune system was compromised. You could see where he had a halter on for a length of time. The halter came back with twine wrapped around the poll. It was obvious he wasn’t in the right place even though it was $1,000 a month pasture board. He returned and we started again. I know he can be saddled and ridden though if only a handful of times. This is not what is needed right now. I have 5 horses that all request time with me. Consequently, this horse was on the back burner until recently.

I realized today just how much of what goes on in our brains translates to how the horses feel about us and how important the conversations we are having in our heads, the horses respond to. So… why not speak it? Let’s begin here, a hypothetical with this horse, given something as simple as asking the horse to be haltered. How does that look? Is the horse moving his head or feet away from you even before you get close enough? What does he look like when you walk in with the halter in your hand? Do you have to play games or chase him to get him to stop moving his feet away from you?

Talk yourself through what you want and how to achieve it, set your intention if not speak it, ask the horse to participate, put some energy (as much as you need and as little as needed) toward implementing it. Have the conversation and let it begin there…

“The way you talk to yourself creates your reality”.

Slow down and take a look…

I had just so eloquently written my first blog post, after much deliberation wondering if anyone would really care to read my stuff then deciding it wasn’t for anyone but me when…I went to download a picture and hadn’t saved what I’d so beautifully put together. Opps. It was a read about shutting down our ability to comprehend, not being listened to or understood, and as it went on… the foundation to all relationships no matter the language is the ability to understand what is being communicated and how to effectively convey your position in the conversation with positive affects to both parties. Whew. I know that “focus” for some is a challenge and though listening you may not see what’s going on around you. Like the horse, observation and using your full peripheral offers opportunities to assess the energy and movements all around you. In part, that is keeping your surroundings safe. Be still and don’t miss a thing. Observations will be heightened if you just slow down and look around you.

I had 2 lessons this day with 94-year-old Courtney and later, a woman who has horses and donkeys of her own who’d lost some confidence after an accident. When Courtney arrived all 5 of the Nokota® horses were laying in a circle on the hill nearest the barn, basking in the sun. He called to them from over the fence saying that he was here for his lesson. Leoti popped up and beelined it inside the 40x40 space. I shut the gate because she likes the time on her terms to figure out what is up. Plus, she likes the quiet away from the bossy geldings so she doesn’t have to wear her bitch face. What I treasure most about the time inside the barn is that the horses don’t come up and in because there is grain or treats because there is not. There is equipment, saddles, pads, loping hackamores, sticks, strings, ropes…and a big ass mounting station, chairs and a safe space to groom, play, and ride in. So, when they come in, they want to stay. The gate is either open or shut no matter, they still are not eager to leave. Valuing the essence of the horses is as important as the people who come here.

Courtney has hit his time with exploring the use of the stick and string, ropes, the flag… We have settled comfortably with a 4’, tapered bamboo stick that is light enough for him to get full movement with and the smaller arena suits both him and the horses. Chief came in to make himself available for the lesson. So interesting as he came here the most shut down and physically compromised a year and a half ago now here we are, the three of us as calm as the blue sky outside. I drew a 4’ circle around Courtney, set a stool nearby for stability, handed him the stick to play with the 5 zones moving Chief at liberty. Sending him out, drawing him in, changing directions, and stopping him. Courtney is 94 with a diminishing vision. This means he is already slow and how can he see what’s going on around him? Yet, as I watched the horses’ reactions to him using his stick from the circle, I was thinking about the meanings of “blind trust”. I am watching Chief believing Courtney’s intentions and responding to the light raise, drop and use of the bamboo without hesitation. Here too, is what I saw… a man with wisdom and knowledge about life who wanted to learn a new language. His wife had learned Swahili. Courtney wanted to learn the language of the horse. Though both require understanding and communication, this new language for Coutrney has allowed him to see and experience truth in words whether thought or spoken. The patience gleaned from both parties, to recognize the need for boundaries and how to set them with clarity, kindness and confidence, has been a picture of love… then you start to understand what safety really means to the horse and the Old Man.

I opened a lower pasture after our session for the horses to go while I tied up a round bale in the bottom pasture. Why I am conveying this is because when the woman came later that afternoon the horses had found some grass and a new round bale. Why would they want to come up to the barn? What do you know… here comes Chief. Dude, again? Here he was standing at the fence to the 60x60 outdoor arena away from the rest of the herd. Are you sick? I thought as I gave him a good look over and opened the gate. I had brought a dually halter and one long line as a place to start. Let’s call her Lesa, has a desire to start driving her donkeys and horses. We introduced the new halter, attached to the left side-pull ring, I pulled out the zone chart and off we went. Asking very little or enough to be effective to drive the horse forward at a walk. See what happens when you step forward in front of that driveline? Take a good look at where you are as you and the horse are moving. When you change your position from his eye either forward or back you cause him to speed up or stop. The reason you want to drive from there is because that is the position on his body where you will be riding him. He sees you there. I let Lesa try and figure it out with some good, short go arounds. She was understanding the place where she should put herself but what was missing was the catching of the horses’ eye. This became apparent when I instructed her to ask him for a stop and send him the other way. The longline was still attached to the opposite side and he was turning around to adjust not because of the feel of the rope on the wrong side rather there was no direction being conveyed as to where he was to go. Lesa was looking at his feet not his eye. An “I see” moment and everything was really cool. Chief was then unhaltered and remained there. The gate from the arena to the pasture opened. He remained. What is it about what happens with those that come here to learn about horses that turns into so much more? This is what… Sometimes it takes getting out of your element or comfort zone or the noise of a bustling life to be able to slow down and take a look at what is really going on around you. All around you. To be heard, understood, considered, respected and see that some kind of language is going on here. All the while learning how to communicate with a 1,000 lb. It really shows us the possibilities and our own struggles. As I wind down, I have this song in my head … “slow down, you move too fast. You gotta make the morning last. Just kicking down the cobblestones. Looking for fun and feeling groovy…”